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funny story!!!!!

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BERIANDUK
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aa
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ies
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Post by edy Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:50 am

A priest was conducting a Baptismal ceremony by a river when a drunk staggered along and stood beside the priest. On noticing, the priest ask," Are you ready to find Jesus?" Drunk," errmm.. yes Father." So the priest put his hand on the drunk's head and dunk it in the river. Priest," Have you found Jesus?" Drunk," No Sir," ... So again the Priest dunk his head in the river and ask," Now, have you found Jesus?" Drunk," No your honour." Priest starting to get annoyed again took his head and dip it in the river a bit longer this time. Priest," Now! have you found Jesus?" Wiping water from his eyes and gasping for air the drunk replied," Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
edy
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Post by edy Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:51 am

A young pregnant lady bought a cushion to make her chair comfortable, one afternoon when she returned from lunch she found out her chair has been move far from her work area, then she commented her co-workers " looks like someone has been sitting on my chair" the co-workers glanced at her stomach and said " looks like someone has been sleeping in your bed"
edy
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Post by edy Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:55 am

As a young man, Norton was an exceptional golfer. At the age of 26, however, he decided to become a priest, and joined a rather peculiar order. He took the usual vows of poverty,chastity, but his order also required that he quit golf and never play again. This was particularly difficult for Norton, but he agreed and was finally ordained a priest.

One Sunday morning, the Reverend Father Norton woke ...up and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.
So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not.

"Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It was a 420 yard hole in one on a par 4!

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiled and replied,"Who is he going to tell?"
edy
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Post by edy Fri Aug 12, 2011 1:02 am

The husband was sitting next to his dying wife when the wife says "honey, I won't mind if you would marry again after I die." Husband: "please don't say that... you know I will stay loyal to you." Wife: No... really... I meant what i've just said and she can even have my golf set that's in the store room." Husband immediately replies without thinking: "I don't think so honey... she's left handed!"
edy
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Post by edy Fri Aug 12, 2011 1:05 am

A maid asked for a pay increase
The wife was very upset about this
and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked : 'Now Maria, why do you
want a pay increase ?'
...Maria: 'Well, Mam, there are
THREE REASONS why I want an increase.
The first is that I iron better than you.'
Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me ?'
Maria: 'Your husband say so.'
Wife: 'Oh.'
Maria: 'The second reason is that I am
a better cook than you.
Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you are
a better cook than me ?'
Maria: 'Your husband did.'
Wife: 'Oh'.
Maria: 'The third reason is that I am
better at sex than you in bed'.
Wife: (really furious now) 'Ah ! Did
my husband say that as well ?'
Maria: 'No Mam... Your driver says'.
Wife: 'Oh.... Ok Ok, So how much do you want ?
edy
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Post by edy Fri Aug 12, 2011 1:06 am

Lucu Doktor Dan

Seorang pesakit yang akan dibedah terbaring di katil bilik bedah dengan muka yang pucat. Seorang doktor bedah muda masuk sambil menyapa pesakit tersebut dengan ramah.

"Awak kelihatan takut sekali, jangan bimbang, semuanya akan berjalan dengan baik dan lancar, jadi tabahkan hati mu..."
...
"Bagaimana tidak takut doktor, seumur hidup, inilah kali pertama saya dibedah."

"Sama-sama, saya juga kali pertama buat pembedahan, saya sama sekali tidak merasa takut..."
edy
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Post by Admin Fri Aug 12, 2011 5:20 pm

Dad buys a lie detector robot which slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner.
"Son, where were you today?" The son says "at school dad." Robot slaps the son! "Ok, I watched a dvd at my friends house!" "What dvd?" "Toy story." Robot slaps the son again! "Ok, it was a porno" cries the son. "What! When I was your age I didn't know what porn was" says the dad. Robot slaps the dad! Mom laughs "HaHaHa! He's certainly your son." Robot slaps the mom..
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Post by Admin Fri Aug 12, 2011 5:21 pm

Six Truths in Life
1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the
same time, a physical impossibility due to the tendons within your neck .
2 . All idiots, after reading #1 will try it .
3 . And discover #1 is a lie .
4 . You are smiling now because you are an idiot .
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Post by BERIANDUK Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:18 am

RODA IMPIAN.

ada bah ni org sabah nama dia Girason kana pilih pi join 2 rancangan Roda impian duuulluuuu... 'turn' dia buat putaran da..pas 2 roda stop trus dia cakap.

Girason: Ok halim..sia pilih hurup S untuk sasi*(sarsi bah yg sbnrya dia mo ckp tp pakat kn)

Halim: Ok, nmpaknya ada 2 huruf S d sna..awak nak beli huruf konsonen tak encik??

Girason: ow,lau bogitu sia mau bali konsonen U la untuk utak..(bingung c halim)

Halim: ok,nampaknya ada 2 hhuruf U d sana...

Girason: sia putaarrr lagi Alim! bah,sia pilih hurup K untuk kantut*(kentut).

Halim: ?? ..oh..ada 1 huruf K..nak beli konsonen lagi tak encik ?

Girason: OK!!! Sia rasa2 sia buli suda agak ni jawapan dia Alim!! Sia salasaikan Alim, SUSU KASANG!!!*(konpiden lg 2)

Halim: Eee...sebut betul2..

*sebenarnya susu kacang bah 2 tp besala karas kn C pn jd S tp yg penting girason dapat juga duit la hhhh..


copy paste ja dr fb ni..hehe
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Post by Admin Sun Aug 14, 2011 9:12 pm

hahaha... Laughing bingung si halim...
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Post by BERIANDUK Mon Aug 22, 2011 2:33 pm

1. Bila org nampak ko baring tutup mata:
...S: Ko tidur kah?
J: Tdk la, sia training mcm mana mau mati bah..

2. Imagine ko bawa bawa tv ko yg rusak pi technician bikin n dia masi juga tanya:
S: Mau kasi bagus kah ni tv?
J: Tdk la,sia buring ba,jadi sia bawa la tv sia pi jln2 sini.

3. Bila time hujan kwn ko nampak ko kluar,dia tanya:
S: Ko kluar time hujan ni?
J: Eh ndak la,hujan yg nanti baru sia kluar.=-?

4. Time ko baru bangun tidur, trus si budu tanya ko:
S: Ko bangun sdh?
J: Ish, sia tidur sambil jalan bah ni!(=|

5. Kawan ko call fon ruma ko:
S: Mana ko?
J: Sini bus stop!:/

6. Diorang nampak ko kluar dari bilik mandi basah2:
S: Ko baru mandi kah?
J: Manada, sia jatuh dlm lubang jamban bah! :&

7. Ko bediri di dlm lift di tingkat paling bawah sdh diorang tanya:
S: Going up kah?
J: Eh ndak la,sia tangah tunggu apartment sia turun bah ni. (y)

8. Boyfren ko pi ruma ko bawa 1jambak bunga. And ko masi juga mau tanya dia:
S: Eeeh,bunga ka tu?
J: Tdk la Ling! Paku-pakis sama kubis bah ni.X_X

9. Ko di dlm toilet, pintu bekunci, trus ada org katuk pintu n dia tanya:
S: Ada urang kah?
J: (Suara Kiut)Teda urang! Taik bah yang becakap ni!!! >:/Mad
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Post by Admin Mon Aug 22, 2011 5:22 pm

hahaha... Very Happy mmg banyak soalan yg cepumas... Laughing
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Post by Admin Sat Mar 24, 2012 12:02 am

Kelas menguatkan memori/ingatan
Sepasang laki bini sdh tua mengalami masalah mengingat... jd mereka buat keputusan ikut kelas memori...

Selepas beberapa hari, si laki berbual2 dgn jirannya di sebelah rumah memberitahu betapa kelas memori yg diikut sangat berkesan kpd mereka laki bini...

Jiran itu bertanya, "siapa instruktor kamu?"

Lelaki tua tersebut jawab, "ooo... emmm... emm... kau taukah itu bunga... yg bau harum... bunga cantik... tp batangnya ada duri?"

"Bunga ros?" jawab si jiran.

"Oh ya... itulah tu..." jawab si lelaki tua. Kemudian dia menoleh ke rumahnya & berteriak kpd isterinya...
"Hai Ros, siapa nama instruktor kita tu?"
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Post by Admin Sat Mar 24, 2012 12:14 am

Pendapat kedua

Sepasang suami isteri bergaduh ketika sarapan pagi di rumah... kerana terlalu marah, si suami berteriak... "... dan kau bukan juga bagus atas katil...!" & terus keluar rumah.

Selepas sejam, dia menyesal & merasakan tdk patut bercakap begitu kpd si isteri. Jd, dia menalipon isterinya dgn niat meminta maaf...

Selepas beberapa kali cuba telefon barulah si isteri mengangkatnya...

Si suami tanya, "kenapa lambat betul jawab????!!!" dgn perasaan sedikit geram.

Si isteri jawab, "saya atas katil..."

"Atas katil pagi2 begini? Buat apa?" marah si suami.

"Mendptkan pendapat kedua...!" jawab si isteri...
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Post by androlo Tue Apr 03, 2012 12:33 am

TAK MUAT DAH,,

Tiga orang menaiki motor telah ditahan polis trafik.namun pemandu motor tersebut tidak berhenti.katanya,TAK MUAT DA TOK,KMI DAH BERTIGA!!!!
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Post by Admin Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:18 pm

Pakistan penipu

Seorg lelaki bernama Lintagu... muka dekat2 mcm Pakistan... tp dia broke up sama girlfiendnya.. kenapa? Ini cerita dia..

Selepas tidur bersama dengan gelprennya malam tu, tiba2 GF si lintagu marah2.. dia pukul2 si Lintagu..

Lintagu: Aiii? Apa salah saya sayang? Kenapa marah2??
Gelpren: Ko penipu!! Penipuuuuu!!! Tidak jujurrrrrrr!!!! (Sambil pukul2 si Lintagu)
LIntagu: Aduhai... saya sayang kamu bah.. sanggup bertanggungjawab.. napa ko cakap saya ni penipu???
Gelpren: (Dengan nada kesal) Ko bah.. muka ko ja macam pakistan, tapi barang ko macam taiwan..
Lintagu: %^&*()!!~~~


Last edited by Admin on Wed Apr 11, 2012 9:50 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by edy Tue Apr 10, 2012 10:09 am

hehehe.. lucu ba kamu ni... Laughing
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Post by BERIANDUK Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:45 pm

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy ...
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Post by Admin Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:10 pm

hahaha... sya ambil dr website lain... Laughing
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Post by freddybenz Wed Apr 11, 2012 12:02 am

Laughing
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Post by Anne ArEyanQ Mon Apr 16, 2012 7:25 pm

Razz
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Post by djt Tue May 29, 2012 12:09 pm

Di sebuah klinik yang terletak berhampiran sebuah kampung...

Doktor : Awak nampak tak sihat? (sambil mengambil stetoskop)

Pak Pandir : Pening kepala, sakit dada….. doktor.

Doktor : Aaa…. suhu badan awak tinggi, ambil ubat ni… makan 2 sudu, 3 kali sehari.

Pak Pandir : Terima kasih.

Seminggu kemudian…..

Doktor : Eh, kamu lagi? Apa pulak masalah awak?

Pak Pandir : pening kepala,…. sakit dada hilang dah…. TAPI sakit perut pulak….(sambil mengerang…)

Doktor : Ubat yang saya bagi hari itu dah habis makan? Pahit ke?

Pak Pandir : Saya makan habis dah ubat tu, tak ada masalah…… cuma, SUDDDU doktor…….

Doktor : Kenapa dengan sudu?

Pak Pandir : (dengan selamba) …. keras sikit ….. doktor!

Doktor : ???????
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Post by djt Tue May 29, 2012 12:11 pm

Kamal diundang kawannya makan malam. Mizal, si tuan rumah, memanggil isterinya dengan kata- kata Sayang... Manis... Cintaku... Sayangku...Kasihku... dan seumpamanya. Kamal memandang Mizal dan berkata, "Romantis sekali, setelah berpuluh tahun menikah, kau tetap memanggil isterimu dengan kata-kata itu."
Mizal mengangkat bahu dan berbisik, "sebenarnya, aku lupa namanya sejak tiga tahun lalu."
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Post by djt Tue May 29, 2012 12:12 pm

Di kedai emas, ada seorang perempuan terkentut ketika menonggeng melihat cincin. Dia tersipu-sipu malu dan melihat sekeliling dan perasan ada promoter dekat belakangnya...

Promoter tu tanya la "Boleh saya bantu?"

Perempuan tu anggap promoter itu tak dengar la yang dia kentut jadi dia jawab "Berapa harga cincin ini?".

Promoter tu jawab, "Kalau tengok pun Puan boleh terkentut, saya pasti Puan akan terberak bila tau harganya".
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Post by huukma Tue May 29, 2012 12:44 pm

cheers
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